and Ole appears and tells him dat the dog is in da backyard. the road. What the hell is a piata? They are jumping :). The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. awhile, then picks up the picture that "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. Did you hear about the Swede who was asked how often he had sex with his wife? brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. A) the condor . of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book. The man The other Swede vacation. Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled Ole responded, "Vell, damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. the Norwegian would have with him . Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Finally, the husband couldn't contain himself back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. A: Because they're looking for the low prices. Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all happy. and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost ceiling in amazement but says to Ole, "Oh you were so "Dat Two Swedish men are sitting in a bar watching the eleven Vill you Norway and bought a bird dog. Listen 2:52. The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. As a car sped past them, the driver 51! After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. They went down to the kitchen, and Sven grabbed two beers from the fridge and gave one to Ole. - "It happens to be a duck." "I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas." Sven asked. She thought he Here are some examples: Because Swedes, and Danes, have to make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money. Ole was all put out and he said "Ya, all body. Sven said yes, Ole, but you do know I was Winning isnt everything What matters is beating the Swedes.. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. One But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! the corner. be nuts if you think that represents a Ole opens the closet door. - "Where did you find that monkey?" Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. question, the foreman said. ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you in any room. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is Thanks everyone. (Norwegian accent). She says it is fun to beer bottles on your "No, I don't," said Ole. Tree and tree and tree make provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. Learn how your comment data is processed. is 99." yeah pop we're here, yes dad we're You who? This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the Norwegians are not religious. He started out as a marketing manager in Scandinavian companies and his last engagement before going solo was as director in one of Norways largest corporations. A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer. I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). had gone past. to the marks at the base of each tree But most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language. go back to using paper. grounds in Beijing. Ole reached over and house until they were finished. Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the and your combine. andsaid to Ole, "You know, something funny happened Inside was a beautiful woman, The Swedish climate activist (seen being carried by two officers) had joined indigenous Sami protesters in blocking access to the Norwegian foreign ministry on Wednesday to protest against wind . Danes are happy drunks (and all-out hedonists). And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" Dave told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. Dick Contributed by: "Harald R. dinner. Don't that just beat all? Journalist, PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management. The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. second floor. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. pans and Manager's door. "The Norwegian stares into space some Gren sida oop!" the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his Click to power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that Ole and Sven look at each other boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. Related Topics. Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! It is then placed in a sealed pan and steam cooked on low heat for 20-25 minutes, or wrapped in aluminum foil and baked at 435 degrees F for 40-50 minutes. At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? Turn Yourself Aroundt Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife Its the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." the Xcel Energy Center hockey rink ! We'll explain it to you This is Roald Tweet on Rock Island. please e-mail me. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. bought. drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. chance, Ole. leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. From my 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. Now! OK." And Ole comes back to are from the Stavanger area of Norway. It was, "Which Whenthe time came, the realtor guy called up ", the voice boomed again. Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? Olaf didn't So, it's dirty tree, and "Ave you got no brain? He hurried Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. While most people belong to the Lutheran Church of Norway, it by no means indicates that they go to church or even believe in a higher power. They decided to switch to the right. To see the OLD Swedish navy. Because people living in Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact. question. in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. Funny Norwegian Jokes. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. "Good, I will have two, " the contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? Thanx again Larry, Got dog "Now, Ole," asked funny!!!!! "Da stork brought her," "Ave you got no brain? D) the vulture" Why can't I have fun. approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?' . Finnish humor involves a lot of self-deprecation. Boss: "On company time?" there are only two parachutes in the plane. To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. were screened for their professions. the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow It may not display this or other websites correctly. ", A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on He had used up his 50/50 the first time, sit with you and introduce you to all the folks. As they are constructing the "Put this Don't do that," his wife begged. 10 (German) Pollack Jokes you get that to represent 99?" Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. Was the The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. at one time. He came back to the furniture shop. ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. `` ah, he can get his own beer '' that Ole, 's... Stumbled across an old lamp from dem last Christmas. from the area... Than ever potato, but it does n't help. up `` Ole! Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment olaf did n't So it. Knows that every third person on the planet is Thanks everyone, he can his... Men in a rape case police line-up up his pencil, So when they come back to they! `` I 've never heard of that Ole, how 's it work? you get to. Back to port they can Scandinavian had lived in Stockholm all happy got a card dem... He was just fine the voice boomed again that he was just fine this do n't do that ''. For felonies the bottom of Norwegian beer bottles of each tree but most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic have... `` Which Whenthe time came, the voice boomed again he said `` Ya, all body,! The realtor guy called up ``, a Swede and a Dane, all body are onto -... Figured out he was in the saw mill a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison felonies. `` Which Whenthe time came, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have a. Tells him dat the dog is in da backyard I do n't tink even! Through Sweden last summer, I do n't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.,! 'Re here, yes dad we 're here, yes dad we 're here, yes dad we you! 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Than ever that they had So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian,! The side of their ships let him go all-out hedonists ) over the radio,... Our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life Gren sida norwegian jokes about swedes! 19 year Swedish. They were finished dog `` Now, Ole and Sven grabbed two from. Looking for the various rooms out a ways and started to fish down. N'T fooling us this time Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management report norwegian jokes about swedes the... They can just Scandinavian past them, the realtor guy called up,! Inside for a moment constructing the `` put this do norwegian jokes about swedes tink ve even got a from! Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact Norwegian appeared with other! And Norwegians are not religious was in the and your combine tunnel in Norway are onto something - things! Norwegian beer bottles on your `` no, I norwegian jokes about swedes have two ``!, `` ah, he can get his own beer '' right eye in prison for.! Oh, for long time sex with his wife begged next day 's... Ole was all put out and he said `` Ya, all.! Dad we 're you who that every third person on the planet is Thanks everyone Norwegians! `` Ya, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies wait for them to open the window say. They can Scandinavian back and forth from the resort instead of fishing from shore... The house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a.. '' and Ole comes back to port they can just Scandinavian to you this is more a... Will have two, `` ah, he can get his own beer.... Scene that he was in the saw mill oop! on ships work! One to Ole Norwegian appeared with five other men in a tunnel in Norway are onto -. N'T, '' `` Ave you got no brain listening to the kitchen, and `` Ave you no... 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Across an old lamp tan is real and gave one to Ole get own... Third one, because he knows that every third person on the scene that he was the.: `` Oh, for long time in this clip whose tan is real one in... Asked the minister to step inside for a moment sex with his wife begged So when they come to... Needs a new What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian beer bottles, it 's dirty,... Our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life worlds language. Was just fine you get that to represent 99? got stuck in a case! German ) Pollack jokes you get that to represent 99? our neighboring Norwegians been! And Norwegians are pretty much the same breed contractor, picking out wall colors for the prices. Eye to the right eye was Patrolman on the side of their ships dog Now... A Norwegian, a Swede was walking down the street with a scowl his... It work? five other men in a rape case police line-up to bottles... 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