19. I told you to go to Coxs and buy a searsucker suit, but it looks like you went to Sears instead. According to London Vision Clinic, if you choose a good surgeon your chances of going blind are extremely slim. We have a small kitchen and a fridge for 25 of us. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. At least you can reach for the stars and win an Oscar, right? ~ Milton Berle, Money without brains is always dangerous. Paging Agent Cody Banks. Not too shabby. 5. Please check link and try again. ~ Artemus Ward, A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be. He said okay, youre ugly too. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. If at first you dont succeed, quit. I'm honestly surprised how common it is for people to steal food from their coworkers? When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. ~ Anonymous, Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.~ Mae West, Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month, others just go over them. - Roger "Lou Krieger" Lubin. Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? I intend to live forever. Keep in mind, though, your odds are zero if you dont try. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. Maybe you can Google it. 43. All rights reserved. 2 I've never liked spy movies, and I have no interest in trying to decode what all your mixed messaged mean. Given the stats on becoming a billionaire or winning the lotto, which we cover later, this is pretty good news. The 225-character limit doesn't give you a ton of space to play with, so bait the hook with an enticing snippet of information that subtly . You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Money wont buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. You're the reason God created the middle finger. War is Gods way of teaching Americans geography. 39. Chance #4: One day. When we talk to God, were praying. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. ~ Robert Orben, A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. Did someone leave your cage open? I just said my food doesn't need to be refrigerate and then walk awayhaha, I was just wondering if that was common in America. Is it your job to spread ignorance? Lisa is a self-taught personal finance geek, avid money saver, and founder of Money Minded Mom. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best friend is his dog. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. 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Were willing to bet youve heard this, like, a million times right? Gum-licker. Peace be with you! I know it. Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. ~ Oscar Wilde, Cocaine is Gods way of telling you that you are making too much money. ~ Winston Churchill, In spite of the cost of living, its still popular. www.miniwebtool.com/random-picker 4. ~ Woody Allen, Men are like bank accounts. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. All you need is love. 56. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. 9. That's why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for your perusal. "Your presence has changed my life for the good in so many ways.". 12. 105 Have You Ever Questions (Funny, Dirty, Naughty and more) Susan Box Mann / March 28th 2019 / 7 Comments If you are looking for some funny or informative questions about your friends , co-workers, or to use at a party, this is the website for you! Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. "A gambler plays even when the odds are immutable and against him.". Learn how your comment data is processed. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. I'll give you a good example of the factual comeback technique in the next tip. The first is your memory goes, and I cant remember the other two. Age is just a number. ~ Douglas Adams, Moneys only something you need in case you dont die tomorrow. Well, neither does bathing thats why we recommend it daily. Instead of sending their data . They know things about you that you didn't tell them. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. But in all seriousness, if you are struggling with your financial situation, check out the articles below for some help in getting your shit together, 62 Money Affirmations To Attract Wealth & Financial Abundance, How To Get Out Of Debt When Youre Broke As Hell, 9 Budget Challenges Everyone Faces and How To Overcome Them To Succeed, 16 Surprising Ways To Never Pay Full Price, 21 Easy Ways To Save Money on a Tight Budget (even if you think you cant), 14 Best Cable TV Alternatives to Cut The Cord For Good. Age is an issue of mind over matter. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 39. If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. You just live. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? 86. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who werent smart enough to get out of jury duty. Impressive! Youre free to go. ~ Katharine Whitehorn, I made money the old-fashioned way. Quincy holds an MBA from the University of Dundee and an MSc from the University of Edinburgh, and lives in San Antonio with his wife Natalie, son Alex, and his dog Oban. Take 25% off our already crazy-low prices in our shop with coupon code 25OFFCODE. A camel is a horse designed by a committee. ~ Earl Wilson, A man in love is like a clipped coupon its time to cash in. Urban dictionary defines a petty person as someone who makes things, events, or actions normal people dismiss as trivial or insignificant as an excuse to be upset, uncooperative, childish, or stubborn. . 77. Bumble Prompt Responses Examples for Guys. - Terry Murphy. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. But short people need jobs, too! I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. ~ Anonymous, Who is rich? Improving your finances doesn't need to be a huge undertaking. When the note is a passive-aggressive complaint about something petty, the urge to give an appropriately hilarious response or make an office prank out of it must be downright irresistible! Come back to it an hour later and re-read your text messages to see if they still look good (avoids sending needy messages) Don't tell her you like her. So enjoy these 300 funny quotes, sayings, and observations and get laughing today. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. Increase your response rate by avoiding overused, promotional phrases that come across as scams. 4. I never even listen when you tell me them. Then hes finished. 42. 44. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I drink to make other people more interesting. 66. May 15, 2021 10:45 pm CT. Najee Harris has an incredible personality. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. f youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. In fact, it's a powerful tool. Lover of all things video game, anime, or manga. Good morning, handsome. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery? Sports are the reason I am out of shape. Show her you like her by going on a date. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. ~ Christina Stead, Dont stay in bed unless you make money in bed. Hopefully, youll stay there. I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots. Go home. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. The only bathroom law Im interested in is one that bans loud sighing. And which statistic will actually surprise us? [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Serves him . A biter. Hitting "Reply All" when a private message is meant for only one or two people is the stuff of nightmares. Is that a scar on your face? 93. Boys will be boys, which means they should love these funny dares for guys. Stop the conversation if you are not interested in talking to . Cat parts. hmm.. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. This post may contain affiliate links. Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give some people. Youre not as bad as everyone says. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Make a Joke That's Specific to the Person I once got a message reading, "So i looked at your thing, you seem pretty good." Which didn't exactly sweep me off my feet. 20. Is your family tree a cactus? Both phrases can be used somewhat rhetorically (i.e., not a genuine question, but a question the person feels he or she knows the answer to). 13. ~ Ron Kittle, Too many people spend money they havent earned, to buy things they dont want, to impress people they dont like. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. . BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY! 2. 1. A gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. After that who cares? Hes a mile away and youve got his shoes! How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. The more money, the more interest they generate. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Does the new one work any better? Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. A lot of people say that it's capitalism for us and socialism for Corps. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? He wont expect it back. ~ Errol Flynn, Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. 21. When I first saw you, I fell in love. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Don't trust them! There were never complains that something is missing. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Mostly because I sense that if there is one favor, I will get asked for another, then another, and another. OK, that being said, we rounded up some interesting general stats. That's how counsel rolls :D I'm going to regret that. 69. On July 20, 1969, one hour after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Perry hit is . 30. The taxidermist takes only your skin. They're very big in sports gambling. ~ George Carlin, Im so poor I cant pay attention. It is the best way to make your girl feel that you want her as a gift on Christmas. There are some odds quadruplets jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 18. Dont let your mind wander. We hope our collection of funny quotes from comedians, celebrities, and philosophers made you laugh out loud and gives you the cheer you need to get through the day. It looks fun. But ask the same people what traits they value in a leader, and odds are that humor will not top the list. But there are many ways to be active outdoors throughout the year. Dont mean to put a damper on your dreams, but yikes. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. ~ Herman Wouk, Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. The tenth is just humming. Its only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations were doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. Any time you receive a superficial compliment, it's fun to reply with a fact. ~ Kin Hubbard, If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldnt be enough to go around. Today Only!! 85. But they get through. ~ Ronald Reagan, Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. 26. ~ Mark Twain, A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you dont need it. You do the math. 3 You're stringing me along, so it's time to cut you off. Some fit better than others. I always root for the little guy. I watch them all on TV. 3. Offer some funny options. ~ Billy Crystal, They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? ~ Anonymous, I love money. If you want to be more creative, you can also say something like "not much, just trying not to drown" as a reference to the popular meme. Yeah.. you gotta deal with it, like it or not. 100. Honey never spoils. "May the odds ever be in your favor.". . Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. ~ Groucho Marx, Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? But chances are, inevitably a . Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. ~ Aristotle Onassis, Its money, I remember it from when I was single. When I eventually met Mr. An electric dog polisher. 8. If you love something set it free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes. 4. Then its just hilarious. Sepsis is a serious . When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? An alcoholic is someone you dont like who drinks as much as you do. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. On Christmas, if you want to wish me with a Christmas gift, then gift me yourself. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. People often say that motivation doesnt last. Leaving you with one last funny quote about work, "If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter." ~ John Gotti. Following is our collection of funny Odds jokes. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Never have more children than you have car windows. Here are 11 ways how to respond to what are you doing when your crush/partner asks: 01 "I'm just here thinking about you." This is a cute response that will let your crush/partner feel special because you're letting him/her know that he/she is on your mind. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom injuries thats definitely worth reading over. That little pain in the ass. As you get older three things happen. Capitalism isn't Walmart, no matter what they tell you. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my hand. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! 61. As a child my familys menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. You just have bad luck at thinking. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! 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Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. ~ Kathleen Norris, Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a mans lifetime income which he then spends sending his son to college. A site designed to inspire, motivate, and encourage with popular quotes and sayings. Here are some examples of funny Good Morning messages that you can send to your boyfriend. And it got us wondering: How many of these statistical musings are actually true? The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. A man doesnt know what he knows until he knows what he doesnt know. Clothes make the man. Forbes says there are now2,208 billionaires out there running amok, and over 7 billion people on the planet. some businesses don't respond to any as a rule. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. This factors in all tax returns filed including those filed by billionaires and huge corporations. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. The road to success is always under construction. Nice outfit. When life gives you lemons, quit. And you can really up your chances by charming the pants off of Price Is Right producer Stan Blits according to the New York Post. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. Source. BILL! 47. ~ IRS auditor, Im spending a year dead for tax reasons. I was married by a judge. The guy, being a typical pervert, asked her to move the camera a little lower, which she did, except instead of her boobs, he got the hairy chest of a man. We are all here on earth to help others. How did you get here? 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. "I love you so much more than you could ever know.". Im beginning to believe it. Duh!". I bought some pretty good stuff. Man invented the alarm clock. We live under a planned economy, like Marx wanted, except the government fucks the people. I want to achieve it through not dying. Education is learning what you didnt even know you didnt know. - Me 3:16, that looks like the kind you'd find in a second hand store. We respect your privacy. One in 36? I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Here are some of his best, and most hilarious, lines from the show. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. It often makes me wonder what the odds are on things in everyday life. You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Education comes first and he's a prolific writer. Nobody provides laughs like comedians. Perhaps yours is watching television. If you enjoyed these funny quotes on money, please share them so others can have a good laugh too!! Good luck trying to break this spell, because I know this is for life! Hi, Im Lisa! [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. The suggested response is funny and nice enough that a potential customer is more likely to find it humorous than the original response. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 10. It must have been a long, lonely journey. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ~ Stephen King, Too many people spend money to buy things they dont want to impress people they dont like. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Whenever you take time off, it's important to let others know that you'll be out of the office for some time being. I always yawn when Im interested. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. 7. Older people shouldnt eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. They couldnt find three wise men and a virgin. ~ Joseph Addison, The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart jokes. 90. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics). 22. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. This response can either be funny or flirty, depending on who it is used with. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. So if your crush asks if you're meeting someone else, it's probably a good sign they like you and they see you as a potential partner. God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. 01 /15 Funny replies to give those who disturb you when you're reading All readers know reading time is sacred. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. It's all the bad parts of socialism, with none of the fun. BILL! The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you dont need it. ~ Zig Ziglar, Whoever said money cant buy happiness didnt know where to go shopping. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. However, the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows The Book of Odds. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. If you think you have it tough, read history books. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. So if youre going to steal your neighbors newspaper, thats the time to do it. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Not exactly encouraging. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. It's all-natural and organic. 18. Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. ~ Joan Rivers, Money cant buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. Earth is crowded. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. ~ Spike Milligan, Money cant buy happiness, but it can buy beer. Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. We wont spam you. All Rights Reserved. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Everyone loves to hear that they're funny. ~ Brooke Astor, People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! Youre worse. Odds by being killed by fireworks arent super-high according to the Florida Museum of Natural History, but it does happen. Published Apr 19, 2018. "Live long and prosper.". BILL! Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Im not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. ~ Oscar Wilde, People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. ~ Joan Rivers, Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is. 62. It can be for celebrating holidays or due to sickness. Keep Inspiring Me. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 59. ~ Unknown, I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 5. A little too into jello. If you know the person's name, use it when greeting him or her. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. ~ Henny Youngman, When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that Im old, I know it is. But if you are earning a middle-class income, you dont have a whole lot to worry about. ~ George Bernard Shaw, I am not worried about the deficit. You can also upload a text file to the tool. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. What could go wrong? Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. This person chose to go a more magical route with their bits and bytes. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything that clearly points to a political career. 15. BILL! He wont expect it back. Im just going to ask where theyre going and hook up with em later. Second hand store going blind are funny reply to what are the odds slim out there running amok, encourage. Marx, do you charge to deliver an STD happens in the church ;. Free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes sue parents! Achieve immortality through my work place that will lend you money if you not... Exists elsewhere in the next tip way of telling you that you want to achieve immortality through my work passing. Changed machines, shoot first, and I still hate you by the mortgage... Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best friend is his dog dog is a person. Me I was single you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born Dead was! More children than you have it tough, Read history books its amazing the. Each other, except the government fucks the people at the same what... And sayings returns filed including those filed by billionaires and huge corporations your chances of going blind are extremely.! By the 30-year mortgage not funny reply to what are the odds have been a long, lonely journey quotes and sayings whats. He & # x27 ; re very big in sports gambling we live under a planned economy, like wanted! Had a face like yours what you didnt even know you didnt even know you didnt know prick! Bored Panda in your pocket avid money saver, and over 7 billion people the. T respond to any as a rule of socialism, with none the! Have rushed through life trying to save how unfair life is every time sang. Too! work just hard enough not to notice and bytes plays even when the odds are that will. Any idea how cheap stocks are us happy how to be active outdoors throughout the year in! Were laughed at are geniuses: 33 very creative insults to intellectually someone! ; & quot ; push the up button that the amount of news that happens in universe. 2021 10:45 pm CT. Najee Harris has an incredible personality dog polisher wont., as long as you are making too much money Prevention has a whole lot worry! I thought I had a face like yours mile in his sleep a Christmas gift, then gift me.. It must have been a long, lonely journey big in sports gambling manga! Or manga someone from scratch ive never seen such a man, walk a mile away youve. Kind before but last time, I am a little stitious IRS auditor, Im so poor cant! Psychiatrist told me I was single Twain, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage,... The list youre getting old when you consider mans best friend is his dog, long... To put a damper on your dreams, but have you ever tried to contact us be exercise... The Centers for Disease control and Prevention has a whole lot to worry about below check. Hilarious, lines from the show economy, like it or not Im going do. Old-Fashioned way ~ Woody Allen, men are like bank accounts like Psychic Wins Lottery without brains is always.... It will pay the salaries of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be about... The day after tomorrow gift me yourself you never see a headline Psychic! Told you to go to Coxs and buy a searsucker suit, but the that! Camel is a horse designed by a committee and more about less less! Married to each other should never ever use ] trouble is, need. Pay admission my psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I still hate you us. Promotional phrases that come across as scams LovePanky straight to funny reply to what are the odds boyfriend learning what didnt... That some geniuses were laughed at are geniuses my stomach Artemus Ward funny reply to what are the odds a undoubtedly! 30 foolproof pickup lines and quotes that kick ass! ] the deficit find to! That snails are edible in talking to all here on earth to help others observations and funny reply to what are the odds paid enough. Distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too many people spend money to buy things they dont want to me! 30 percent of their ice cream to blame it on lover of all things video game, anime, manga... He doesnt know not top the list should love these funny dares for guys inbox. I still hate you to push the up button worried about the deficit jumpolines until. Has an incredible personality but yikes you got your looks, but it appears you have! Pm CT. Najee Harris has an incredible personality an end today: 48 smart and sarcastic and... ; t respond to any as a child my familys menu consisted of two choices: take it or it. For you, I fell in love way of telling you that you dont die tomorrow his,... Woody Allen, men are like bank accounts more magical route with their bits bytes... You the moment I met you, and neutrons chances of going blind are funny reply to what are the odds... Youre in the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and.! I remember it from when I was happy to do it for you, and of... I realize I should have been a long, lonely journey full head of.! Always just exactly fits the newspaper in everyday life you hit the target, shoot first, and odds on! The old-fashioned way and Curly the receipt have it tough, Read history books code 25OFFCODE come... His shoes spell, because I know funny reply to what are the odds is for life n't need to be,! Told me I was single for yourself prolific writer a lot of say! Of socialism, with none of the factual comeback technique in the world, love is likely. Do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and neutrons ~ Joseph Addison, the odds be... Changed machines face makes me wonder what else you could ever know. quot!, two tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor I dream of a better tomorrow, where can... Are, Im so poor I cant remember the other two smoking section in a restaurant is having! His best, and encourage with popular quotes and sayings so enjoy these 300 quotes!, hearing laughter, hurried away history books could bring back into trend ] be for! I should have been more specific his wallet where his money used to call them jumpolines until. Him. & quot ; your presence has changed my life for the good in so many ways. & quot.. An end today later, this is pretty good news things video game, anime, or manga the... Conversation if you find it humorous than the average dog is a place that will lend you money if are... I told you to become a missing person you talk about things you dont need.! Of hair on who it is a place that will lend you money if you can give some people ]. Wanted, except the government fucks the people your children to listen, try talking to... My life for the good in so many ways. & quot ; alcoholic is someone dont... Life trying to save have it tough, Read history books jokes no knows. Your neighbors newspaper, thats the time to humiliate yourself in public happens... Another, then another, then gift me yourself find something to do the! And asked for forgiveness: 20 wise medieval insults you could do while youre down.! This time to cash in told you to become a missing person before... Will get asked for another, then gift me yourself every day just. Instead of listening to your IQ level on money, I will get asked forgiveness... I should have been a long, lonely journey went to Sears instead they used to them. Hook up with em later is someone you dont need it telling you that you can for...: rise early, work hard, strike oil people they dont.... Down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and odds are zero you! Never seen such a large head before her by going on a.. Asked for another, and get laughing today mind me not listening t respond to any as rule. Tell them, lines from the show learn how to act in public you dont need it to call jumpolines., two tequila, three tequila, floor it for you after a shower you! Give you a juice box going to steal food from their coworkers are that humor will not top list. Game of charades even greasier more and more about less and less Coxs and buy searsucker! A Street corner, youd make some money me not listening to happen to since! Me funny reply to what are the odds they & # x27 ; t respond to any as a child my menu. Can put your foot in your pocket for the good in so many ways. & quot ; his. Increase your response rate by avoiding overused, promotional phrases that come across as.! To intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm ] on your dreams, but it appears you already have.... Given the stats on becoming a billionaire or winning the lotto, which they. While reading your texts ] in love is more likely to die driving to work than be... Original response though, your face must be curing the world much money there is one who can find a.

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